I would like to begin with a disclaimer- In posting this, I am not saying that this is what everyone should do. I am just sharing my story, and how I feel it is beneficial to me and my faith.
Everyone loves a wedding, at least I do. My cousin got married just a couple of weeks ago, and I had the honor of being a bridesmaid.(I’ve decided that I could totally be a professional bridesmaid. I mean, you get a new dress that’s fancier than what you’d normally wear, you get to fix your hair and makeup like you’re actually going to be around people, and help others with their hair and makeup, you get cute monogrammed gifts, you get to eat cake at least three times, and you support your friend/family member on one of the most important days of her life-right up my alley.) From my cousin’s engagement to her wedding, I’ve seen how much actually goes in to planning a wedding, and I’m really seeing it with my sister, who is getting married in February. So I can understand why people use something like Pinterest to gather ideas and keep them all in one place. However, in the past few months, I have been wondering why I, a very single, twenty-one year old girl, feel it is necessary to gather ideas for a wedding that I’m not even guaranteed to have. (I realize that I terrify some girls my age with that statement, myself included, but sometimes you have to be real, and this is one of those times.) After much prayer, consideration, and heated debate with myself, I made the decision to do away with my wedding board (dramatically titled “Someday…”) on Pinterest.
I have a few different reasons for doing this:
1. A far-off wedding should not be my main focus right now. First of all, it’s not like I would just sit for hours pinning wedding ideas. But when I came across something “I might want to keep in mind”, I would save it. But sometimes I would get on kicks where I would pin a mass amount of wedding ideas in one sitting. However, as I have recently been learning, singleness is a special time in the life of a Christian. It is a time to grow in your faith and focus on what God has for you specifically. It’s not a time to be planning a wedding to a boy you haven’t even met yet. I began to realize this as I read “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric & Leslie Ludy (which if you haven’t read, YOU NEED TO.). Right now, I’m single because God wants me to work on myself and draw me to Him, and if I’m busy picking out the groom’s cake before I even have a groom, then I can’t fully be molded into who God wants me to be.
2. It’s not about the wedding-it’s about the marriage. This is something that I think is a big problem with girls today. They want to have their perfect day, and they get so caught up in looking and being treated like a princess that they forget about the real purpose of a wedding- to make a lifetime commitment with another person to serve each other and God for the rest of your lives. If you just want to throw a big party, become a committee head in your sorority and plan a brunch for 150 people-it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I’m not saying it’s bad to want a nice wedding- I do!- but I’m saying that I think the focus should be more on the meaning of a wedding, rather than the presentation.
3. I don’t know what I’ll want my wedding to be like by the time I actually get married. Right now, everyone is into the Mason jars and burlap, but who knows what’s going to be ‘in’ by the time you actually get engaged? More importantly, I know that who I marry will have an effect on how I want my wedding to be. Planning now is just a waste of time!
4. Sometimes it makes you sad. I’m not the type of girl to sit around and mope because I’m single (and have been forever). I’ve given that area of my life over to God, and am trusting Him with that as I live in this time of singleness (which took a very long time). But that doesn’t mean that I never wish I wasn’t single- it happens sometimes. Often, when I was particularly upset, I would get on Pinterest and end up pinning wedding stuff, which made things worse. In getting rid of my wedding board, I also got rid of the opportunity to dwell on my singleness, and to tell God that I was upset with/didn’t trust His timing.
So there you have it. If you think that this might be a good idea for you, I would definitely encourage you to pray about it and ask God if this is hindering your relationship with Him, or your ability to trust Him and His plans for you.
That’s all for meow!
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